i always knew

i wanted to be a mom.

i started dating at 16
i met brady at 17
i was engaged at 18
married at 19
pregnant at 20
with a baby at 21.

that baby was baylor.

it all happened so fast, but i wouldn't change a thing. it's how i imagined it. it's what i had planned from the beginning. every girl has a dream. my dream was to be a mother. at my baby shower, my close friends and family offered advice and shared stories. i remembered listening intently to what they had to say. i made mental notes based on their comments that these would be happy yet trying times, with late nights, little sleep, crying, and trying to understand non verbal cues. i was so grateful for those who had done this before.

after baylor was born, i kept waiting for the trying times, the late nights, the little sleep, the crying, the trying to understand non verbal cues. but they never came. i felt so blessed as i watched other mothers struggle with their infants and toddlers through these things. they just seemed to come so easy for me. which by the way i felt was a fair trade considering my awful pregnancy. (see severe hyperemesis gravidarum)

my son is now 14.

and my time is now.

the times are trying, there are late nights, little sleep, crying, and much trying to understand non verbal cues.

i am desperately trying to remember all of that advice that was given to me all those years ago in that baby shower. cause i need it now more than ever.